“Why can it take time between my emails and your answers?”
I have a life that’s quite busy, it’s not my only activity and sometimes it’s hard for me to find time to answer. Most often your emails are long. You take time to introduce yourself, to speak about your problems or your fears and I don’t want to respond in the wrong way.
Also, I’ve decided to delete the Protonmail app from my smartphone so I can better separate my job from my private life. Now, I prefer to get settled at my writing desk with a cup of tea and take my time to properly read your messages while I’m listening to Ludovico Einaudi.
And sometimes I’m on hiatus to have time for my other activities or for my relatives.
“I know, you’ve said that you’re never available for last-minute appointments but anyway I want to ask if you can make an exception for me”
“I know you’re on hiatus but could you make an exception because I’m only available at these dates”
No. No and NO. First, I love filling my life with great projects : studies, travels, moments with my friends, my family, moments for myself. I’ll never be free at the last minute, don’t even try. The only people for who I’d do that are my relatives.
Between you and me, as soon as I receive a message of this type, even if the rest is very good, I get cold feet. I find it very disrespectful to ask me to change my schedule or cut short my time with my loved ones for you. This isn’t an emergency, you’re not having a heart attack and I’m not a doctor. If my schedule doesn’t suit you, I invite you to go and see someone else who have more time or another way of working.
“What is the most appropriate duration for a date?”
Huge question! I’d be tempted to answer, “it depends” but it’s not really what you want to hear. So, take a cup of tea, I’m going to try to answer.
First of all, I’ll never force you to book a long date if it’s not what you want/if it’s not in your budget. That would be really inappropriate. However we need to face the truth: if you book a 2-hours date and you want to go to the restaurant, walk in a cemetery under the full moon and have a moment under the sheets, it’s going to go wrong somewhere. I’m exaggerating, but some gentlemen have a big “to-do list” which is hardly compatible with the duration they’ve chosen, except if we speed through everything…and do not enjoy the present moment. In these cases, I advise to re-think your desires or adapt them (for example, we can do an “aperitif dinatoire” instead of going to a restaurant).
The question I have the most is “Will this duration be enough for a first meeting knowing that I’m really shy/I really need to talk before going further with you?”. Again, it’s hard for me to answer. I don’t know you and I cannot say how much it will take for you to be at ease with me. If I agree to take things into my own hands, and initiate certain moments, it’s always difficult because it’s crucial for me to respect your consent and to not rush you. I have memories about really nervous men who didn’t succeed to be relaxed (for X reasons). It was not possible for me to consider going further as they were so stressed.
However, even if I’m not in a hurry, at some point, I need to know if we keep our clothes on or if we can go further (it’s up to you: if you prefer debating about the usefulness of the pickles in the burgers rather than having some cuddles, I don’t have a word to say on that. Consent first!)
In addition to all of this, you have to understand that I never know how much time we will need under the sheets. Some men want to take their time, others can have an orgasm really quickly and don’t want to make love again, others want to make love 2 times during our date, etc. Our time under the sheets can go from 5 minutes to 1 or 2 hours.
Cherry on the cupcake: sometimes you don’t know how your body is going to respond to this new experience and sexual dysfunction (erectile dysfunction, retarded ejaculation, early ejaculation, etc.) can appear whereas everything seems ok.
In conclusion: I can’t say “The better duration is…..” (yes, I know that you thought I’ll have THE answer but no, sorry). However, we can talk about that and try to find some solutions. For example, you can decide that you will tell me when you feel ready to go further. You can ask me to check the time and warn you when we’ll be at the halfway point of our date. We can come to the agreement that I’ll ask you, “Do you want to go further now/Can I kiss you/etc.?” If you have other ideas, I’d be very happy to know them!
“I’ve been asking you for a date for months but you’re never available! Why?”
Many men never end up meeting me and I have to tell you that it’s also frustrating for me. It’s not my only activity and I don’t date every day. A rendez-vous is something important for me, I’ll think about it the whole day, I won’t go out the day before to not be tired, I’ll arrange my day to be relaxed and rested when I join you, etc. In other words, I wouldn’t schedule a date with you as if it were grocery shopping.
I try to keep a balance between all I want to do in my life. It’s never easy but I think I’ve done it well since the last years. If I accepted to book more, it would be at the expense of something else: my friends, my sleep, my studies, my other projects, the time for myself, my other dates, etc.
I’m not going to drink more coffee (or start taking drugs) to please every gentleman that writes me. I know it’s disappointing but I bet that you could find another sweet girl to take care of you.
“If I have to cancel, will you be mad at me?”
Yes sir! I’m going to wait for you in your street to make a scene! Seriously, as long as you warn me before our date it’s not a problem. We all have our professional and personal obligations and I understand that, sometimes, it could come before our date.
However, if you cancel less than 48 hours in advance your deposit will go to Grisélidis and you will have to make another one if you still want to see me.
If you cancel because you don’t feel ready to take the plunge, I’m totally fine with that, really. You can be honest with me about that, I prefer a discussion like that to a last-minute cancel, because it makes me block up my day for nothing… If ever this cancellation comes after a lot of email exchanges, I must admit I’m always very happy when the person compensates me (or sends me a gift card) for the time spent on our discussions. It’s not compulsory, but it always means a lot to me!
And the reasons for cancellations I don’t want to hear about any more:
- The cancer thing, I’ve had it, over and over again. I’m not saying that it can’t happen, I’m just saying that more than once I’ve had ‘fake dying’ people who cancelled because “it was the end”, only to see them reappear in great shape in my colleagues’ emailboxes.
- Family death. Leave your grandmothers out of our meetings, poor Granny! It’s not nice to murder them fictitiously, especially for the second time in the same month (yes, it really happened).
“And you, can you cancel our appointment?”
Yes, I’m always sad when I have to do so. First of all because if I’ve chosen you, that means that I’ve wanted to meet you and I’ve imagined spending a nice moment with you. But also because as I’m my own boss, if I’m sick that means that I’ll not earn money. So when I cancel a date, it’s really because I have no other choice.
I’d rather cancel a date if I’m sick or not feeling good because when I meet somebody, I need to be fully present with him. It would be a shame not to be able to fully enjoy each other and you’d be disappointed by our date. It’s a bit like when you buy a ticket to see a singer you like: if he’s sick/tired/ and the show isn’t what you expected, you can be annoyed (except if the artist is Pete Doherty who can perform under drugs and alcohol and people still like him and go to his concerts. But I’m not Pete Doherty, you know).
Some artists prefer cancelling their show when they know they won’t be able to perform in a good way and please their public. It’s always a big disappointment for everybody.
Anyway, even if I’ve hardly ever had to cancel a date, it could happen.
Of course, we will reschedule the date or if it’s not possible, I’ll refund your deposit.
“I’m sorry, I made a lot of typos, do you mind?”
I’ve written this part for French people because in France, there are a lot of jokes and discrimination about spelling. I don’t know why people are so mean with those who struggle with grammar or spelling (in fact, I know one of the biggest reasons: racism, simply). I really don’t care about mistakes. Moreover, if you’re an English speaker, you’ll notice I make a lot of mistakes in English.
If you want to write to me in French, do it! I’ll never judge a person who is trying to express himself in a foreign language. We could teach each other some vocabulary or some idioms, that could be fun and really interesting!
“I’ve never contacted/met an escort, I don’t know what to say/to do/how it works/etc.”
I have a lot of men for whom it’s the first time, that’s why my website is so dense. I’ve tried to answer all the questions I’ve encountered since I’ve started this activity.
If it can help you, it’s a bit like if you met a woman in a bar: you don’t go straight and say “Let go to my apartment, I want to fuck you!” (I mean, I hope you don’t do that…). I like when a man introduces himself, talks to me about his life, his desires, wants to know more about me, about what I like, etc.
If you’re a bit lost, don’t hesitate to ask me questions. I swear, there is no “stupid question” but I can be annoyed if the answers are written on my website, that could mean that you hadn’t read it. I’ve taken many hours to write a good website, I won’t waste my time if you’re lazy.
“I don’t want to give you a phone number, I will only communicate by emails”
I understand why some men don’t want to do that but I’m not your mistress! I mean, yes, I’m a bit like a mistress but I’ll never send you hot messages while you’re spending holidays with your family, I won’t call you in the middle of the night to make a fuss. We can do all our conversation by emails, it’s not a problem. But this phone number is requested for the confirmation of our date and also to call you when I arrive at our rendez-vous. Imagine, we’ve decided to meet in a public place and I can’t recognize you…or worse: I follow the wrong man (no joke, I did that 3 or 4 times, so please, help me avoid these moments of trouble and shame).
“I’m sad that you’re not available, could you recommend me another escort?”
No. First of all because in France it’s pimping.
Then, I’m not your mother: you’re an adult, you can contact people without my help. I won’t waste my time with you to see which of my colleagues would be a perfect match for you. Contacting an escort is a personal process, YOURS, so it’s your job to read websites and contact different escorts, not mine.
Also, I’m not my colleagues’ mother: stop asking me if so-and-so is available such day at such time. Even if I like them and talk to them really often I don’t know their schedules.
“Do I have to take condoms or do you?“
I always take condoms with me for a date. I have 2 different sizes, some with latex, others without it. I also take lubricant (because yes, for those who don’t know: lubricant is obligatory with condoms to minimize the risk of tears). Some of you aren’t used to wearing condoms and are a bit lost. Others don’t want to take a risk with their wife. No problems! We can talk about that, I can give you some advice on sizing, brands, etc. One important thing: never use an old condom or a condom that has spent months (sometime years) in your wallet or in your coat. It’s the best way to have an accidental tear.
There are a lot of different condoms so to know which one is the best for you, the only way is…to test them! Some men swear by Durex, whereas others prefer Manix. I cannot say in advance which one is the best for you and I’m not going to buy every condom in the world to do a fitting session with you (even if it’d be really fun!).
For those who are looking for the perfect fit, some companies offer a large variety of size.
However, it’s better to avoid condoms with anesthetics. I had some issues with them: I had my mouth anesthetized 3 times while I was practicing oral and I also discovered that it anesthetized my vulva. As you can imagine, my arousal was a bit low with that but it’s not dangerous and I always laugh when I feel my mouth anesthetized.
“I assume that with your job you don’t have a boyfriend/a family. That must be difficult to live”
I don’t know why but my private life seems to really worry some men. Sir, I can reassure you: I’m very fulfilled in my private life. Being an escort is not like entering the convent, we can have boyfriends, girlfriends, boyfriends AND girlfriends, husbands, wives and we can even have kids.
And please, stop asking me if I’m going to stop to “have a serious relationship” and “raise children”. It’s insulting for those who are sex-workers and parents because yes, you can be both of them and do a great job in these two activities. The more difficult to deal with is the gaze of the others and you don’t help with these types of questions.
“Do you have some recent photos? Can I have other photos?”
Some of my colleagues love doing a lot of photo shoots to always have new photos. I love photo shoots too but I don’t want to do photos if it’s not bound with a particular universe (a nice place, different accessories, etc.). I do it when I have particular ideas, when I have a beautiful place or when I want to try some things.
Also, I never send photos, especially not erotic photos. If you want to masturbate, go on google and forget me.
“Can I send you emails apart our date?”
Yes, I always appreciate when I have some news from one of my lovers, when we can exchange a few messages between two dates. As I said on the page “Our meeting”, some people really need to share their feelings, their thoughts after a meeting so feel free to do so. If you want a real correspondence, it’s possible, you can find more about that HERE.
“What happens if we come across each other in the street/in a bar?”
Well, nothing happens most often. Don’t stress. Please breathe and calm down. In general, when I come across a gentleman, we just act like we don’t know each other. Obviously, I’ll never come to kiss you or hug you, I don’t want to embarrass you. I expect the same thing from you.
Most of my relatives are aware about my job, so my behavior is not about that. It’s more about boundaries between my activity and my private life. This part is dedicated to the man who came up to me in a bar and sat down at the table, with me and my friends, without my agreement to talk to me about his teeth operation. Yes, he did that. The second part of this story is Here (The english version will arrive soon)
“I don’t want to book a hotel and it’s impossible to meet you at my home. Could we meet at your home? I’ll be discreet, I promise.”
No, my home is a private place, it’s not negotiable. And don’t ask me to find “a solution”, I’m not a magician.
“Are you doing this activity for money?”
Maybe I’m going to disappoint you (or maybe it’s a very French question and gentlemen from other parts of the world don’t see the problem) but yes, I do it for money. However, I suppose that you don’t work to pass the time or to please your boss. Like 99.99% of people on earth, I need to work to pay my bills, feed myself (and my pets), fill my car but also to buy tons of books and food or to travel. It’s this amazing job that allows me to have my dream life!
“Can I take photos of you?” “I’m a photographer, could you be interested?”
I’ve decided to accept collaborations with artists and photographers but only if the project seems exciting. If it’s just to do average photos of me lying on a bed, I’m not really interested (except if you have an amazing portfolio), but if you have an unusual place or an out-of-the-ordinary project we can discuss.
But I have to warn you:
- I don’t do porn
- I don’t accept photos of my face
- I don’t accept negotiations like, “I do some photos and I can have free sex with you”